What you are about to read is true. The only thing added is the special kind of snarkiness and sarcasm that is so inherent to this blog. But file this under, "you won't believe the shit that I have seen." How ironic that I recycled the name of a previous blog post, yet added "Redux," Like Apocalypse Now, Redux. How very appropriate.
Back on July 15, I wrote about the Happy Good Time Emotion Response Place and School. Today, we go one step further and explore how this will look in practice, and idiocy.
In the Happy Good Time Emotion Response Place and School a student that throws chairs and puts other students in danger will be subject to a first Responder. Yes, that R should be capitalized, for these Responders will be a regular person, a regular Joe or Josephine that will be ensconced within the school culture, only known amongst and to themselves.
Each Responder will be on duty, not doing their job, but waiting, waiting for the call to go out. A red square, a red siren, the Bat Signal will beckon them that there is a job to do, a child who is having bad emotional response. When the call comes, they will scurry with all their might, their last breath to the scene of the student throwing a chair, throwing pencils, throwing a tantrum, or punching a teacher and will be soothed, and restrained and sent to that most wonderful place on earth, Happy Good Time Emotion Response Place.
Once there, the student will be plied with happy talk and possibly milk and cookies. Maybe a blankey, or a binky, and a woobie. But don't think for a moment that there won't be consequences to the adverse and negative behavior.
There will be an art center where the student will be able to finger paint his or her feelings away. A big comfy pillow chair will probably not be out of the question to soothe those feelings of destruction as the child in the class that was hit with the chair and is bleeding profusely from the head. In fact, the hell with the bleeding kid, the kid who threw the chair is the one who must be comforted.
But a look down the road at The Crack Team's prognostications reveal that soon this Happy Good Time Emotion Response Place will be bursting at the seems due to the fact that by the end of October, students will get the fact that bad behavior not only reaps rewards, but reaps not having to be in class. That will be the genius in it, the its ultimate failing.
Screw Lee Canter, screw what he knows, what he has taught. There is always a liberal someone who thinks they know better, that it falls upon that person to reinvent the wheel.