Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York. You know NYC DOE Chancellor Dennis Walcott gave me a job at Tweed as long as you are a teacher.
Costello: Look Abbott, if you're at Tweed, you must know how the Teacher Data Reports work.
Abbott: I certainly do.
Costello: Well you know I've never read mine. So you'll have to tell me my rating and then I'll know how I am doing
Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you your rating, but you know it seems to me they give these teachers now-a-days very ratings.
Costello: You mean funny ratings?
Abbott: Strange ratings names, like Shitty, Great, Sucks, Good
Costello: Oh and….?
Abbott: Poor. But the NYC DOE and an economist have solved those names with better names.
Abbott: Well, let's see, we have as ratings for teachers, Highly Effective, Effective, Developing…..
Costello: That's what I want to find out.
Abbott: What did I say, Highly Effective, Effective, Developing…..
Costello: Are you the principal? What do these ratings mean?
Abbott: No, I am not the principal.
Costello: What are you?
Abbott: Just a nameless bureaucrat
Costello: And you don't know what the ratings mean?
Abbott: Well I should.
Costello: Well then am I a highly effective teacher based on my ELA TDR reports published in the New York Times of February 24?
Costello: So you think I am highly effective.
Costello: I’m not. I’m a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad boy!
Abbott: Yes, you are not. There is a +/- rating of 75% according to Yoav Gonan of The New York Post
Costello: So The Times gave me a 85%. So what am I now?
Abbott: Screwed. Among the worst in NYC you are down to 10%
Costello: So I’m…..?
Costello: Wait, I have The Times here. The Times says the +/- is 50% for ELA so I am no longer ineffective.
Abbott: That's not true.
Costello: OK, I’m effective?
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's effective?
Costello: Look, how do you say that I am effective? First you say I am ineffective, than developing, now………
Abbott: Highly Effective.
Abbott: In Math.
Costello: How am I highly effective in Math?
Abbott: You got a score of 35 right.?
Abbott: The Yoav Gonen +/- margin of error in math is 60%.Costello: The guy that gets...
Costello: So now I am highly effective...
Costello: Do these score accurately show what kind of teacher I am
Abbott: Yes. What's wrong with that?
Costello: Look, all I wanna know is are the scores accurate.
Costello: The scores
Costello: So I know I will have a job, so I know what kind of teacher I am.
Abbott: You have the scores; figure it out your self.
Abbott: So you are, as long as you fall into the margin of error.
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is how can I be all over the place with my ratings
Abbott: You can
Costello: Can what?
Abbott: Be effective, highly effective, ineffective and developing all at once.
Costello: One rating at a time
Costello: Let me ask you this,
Abbott: Take it easy, buddy, but OK
Costello: I'm only asking you, several of my students moved into the school a week before the tests
Abbott: That's right.
Abbott: All right.
Costello: So how can I be rated on what I taught these students.
Abbott: You can.
Costello: I can?
Abbott: They’re your students.
Costello: But they were my students for a week. The came from ANOTHER state!!!
Abbott: Were they on your roster?
Abbott: Yes Costello……
Costello: As a teacher I have one thing to say.
Abbott: What's that?
Costello: The DOE is doing everything it can to make me not give a darn and retire.
Abbott: That’s exactly what we want to do.